never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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