Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
