last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
