dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Text me some of your sweat
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