Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
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I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
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The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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