Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
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Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
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It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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