Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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