yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize