Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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