I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
So squirting runs in the family.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
