Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize