he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize