They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
