Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
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I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
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This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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