you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
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i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
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I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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