I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so that wasnt chicken after all
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
