Cold hands, warm shart.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
