after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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