Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
