so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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