Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
