on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
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I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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