he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
