That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize