hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
