There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
