I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
