kristin has been a bad kristin
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
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He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
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New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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