Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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