you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
