They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
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I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
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We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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