There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize