batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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