I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
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She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
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YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked