yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo