took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?