The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends