You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
