I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3pm strippers are depressing
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
A+ Viking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize