he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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