Me too!
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
