Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You ate ashes out of my bong
I want a musical about memes.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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