grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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