my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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