thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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