so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
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I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
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premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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