tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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