Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize