i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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