Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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