Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize