She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
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asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
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I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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